Wordless Wednesday

Mystical Cat by RiegersArtistry

MYSTICAL CAT By Riegers Artistry

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My Cat has Cancer :(

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I mentioned in my last post that my fur baby wasn’t feeling well. He had stopped eating as much and less each day. When I called the vet, they confirmed he was dying, as they stop eating when their organs begin to shut down. After giving him Reiki and feverishly praying, he began to eat again. Though not his regular appetite and still not feeling well, I arranged a vet appointment. He lost four pounds including muscle mass, signifying a chronic illness.

My worst fear confirmed when his blood work came back normal, ruling out any less aggressively treated diseases. The next step is radiograph and ultrasound to determine where the cancer is and if it has metastasized. The cost is between $500. and $700. I am unable financially to make that appointment. I had to borrow the money to bring him in the first place. I can’t help but wonder, if I had the money, could I get him treatment. Could money save his life? It’s so frustrating being poor and not having that choice. Maybe money would be useless. I don’t know.

I believe it’s in or around his stomach, as he struggles with nausea, constipation and throws up bile. It would be nice to know where it is and how much time we have; but, I am just trying to stay in and cherish each moment.

All I can do is monitor his quality of life each day. He is social, affectionate and active. He eats very little still. He will have a good day, then a bad day. Soon enough, there will be more bad days than good, and I will have to make that call.

I have researched natural treatments extensively. I have been studying animal communication and Reiki for animals. I play him sound frequencies that kill cancer cells. I started him on THC free CBD oil made for pets. I give him nutritional yeast for B vitamins and turmeric because it is a cancer fighter. I know I am doing everything in my power to give him the best life possible while he is still with me.

It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and very triggering. Watching someone you love decline with cancer is heart-wrenching. I have many memories of being with my mom through her journey with cancer. It is the most helpless feeling, an emotion I don’t do well with.

He has been my guardian, my therapist, and my best friend. He is being so brave and doing so well, I am trying to live up to his example, and give to him like he has always given to me.

❤❤❤

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Hello 2019!

Here we are, halfway through January, and I am trying to remind myself that a new year has begun. I started off strong, as most of us do with our resolutions and optimism. My daughter and I had a cozy New Year eve at home, followed by traditional Greek Spanokopita with the lucky quarter, that I finally got! Then we spent the rest of the first week of the year, with a DIY spa day, getting back to the gym, printing weekly planners and getting healthy and organized.

 

The second week….plummet. My heart got broken from a person I thought was a friend, I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle, and then I bawled and wailed over my cat whom I am still not sure if he is dying. He wasn’t eating much for four days and less each day. The vet confirmed over the phone that it didn’t sound good and that they stop eating when their organs start shutting down. I have been waking up early and sitting at my altar, praying, smudging, crying. I performed Reiki on him and myself. I am somewhere between acceptance and praying for a miracle. I was intuitively guided to go out and buy some cat food with gravy, and thought that may appeal to him. My hope renewed when he actually began to eat last night. This morning he ate a little and drank some water. I read online that cats can have diseases such as kidney disease and cancer, where it appears they are dying but may live a while longer. I am monitoring him and will call the vet back and chat.🙏🙏🙏

Meanwhile I have been reflecting on how every January it seems there is some major trauma or challenge to over come. Last year it was losing my car, the year before bedbugs. Fortunately, with each battle, my warrior spirit gains wisdom, patience and enlightenment. No matter how challenging or painful, I know that I will come out the other side. Even through these present heartbreaks, I have maintained routine, self care and faith.

This year I will continue to love myself, heal myself and nurture myself. My journey thus far has been tumultuous with glimpses of hope. Healing has been painful with reward. Self love has become a multidimensional task, involving so much more than I anticipated.

I have been the caterpillar, completely dissolving, breaking down and rebuilding itself in it’s cocoon. This year, I hope to love and heal myself enough to at least start to break out of this cocoon and view my life as I am trying to manifest. A life of purpose and serving.

2018 had some intense retrogrades and challenges for all. Lots of purging and shedding old ways, people, etc. This theme continues as what no longer serves, dissolves. I hope that lucky quarter goes into effect for me and that 2019 will be the year prosperity and good health can at least be within reach. So far it has been a rollercoaster, hang on everyone!😁✌

 

Giving AND Receiving

 

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The holiday season is here and we are in the spirit of giving. It should feel good to give to our loved ones. Unfortunately, with mass marketing  we can be guilted or pressured into buying beyond our means. The smiles on Christmas morning fill us with gratification; but, then we are left depleted financially. We forget that giving doesn’t have to be material things. We can give our time, our presence, a smile or an encouraging word. We can craft, cook, write or sing a gift.  We should give from our heart and do it  unconditionally in a way that feels good to us. The act of giving and  kindness should be practiced regularly and not just during the holidays. It is said to give what we want to get. 

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Most of us are continuously giving of ourselves to our kids, our families, our relationships, our work, our home, our pets…we usually forget to give to ourselves. This leaves us feeling exhausted. It is so important to give to self first. To nurture your own being and fill your well with love until it flows over, and only then can you give to others. Whether its the holidays or not, giving is an art to be appropriately learned and practiced. This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is give-to-self-first.jpg

The other end of giving is receiving. Receiving doesn’t get as much praise. Most of us have been taught to give; but to be too humble to receive. We feel guilt or shame or unworthy to receive. Whether it be a lavish gift, or a simple compliment. We usually shrug it off and feel uncomfortable. The truth is that receiving is just as valuable as giving. It keeps energy flowing. To not receive is to block what that person is trying to give you. We must love ourselves enough to open up and receive what loved ones, our bosses, or God, or Universe is trying to give us. To not receive is to close ourselves off from love, from Source and from our own worth. To be able to give, you must be able to receive. This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is receive-deepak.jpg

The goal is to understand that giving and receiving are a constant and natural flow. In order to give you must be able to receive, and to receive you must give, of yourself, to yourself, and to others, and to do it in a way that doesn’t deplete us and without expectation.

“Giving and receiving are different expressions of the same flow of energy in the Universe.”~Deepak Chopra

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I am giving and sending out much love and light to you all through the holiday season and always!!! Happy Holidays and Many Blessings!!💖

Tears of Gratitude

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The highest risk of stroke has passed
yet lingers over me
The awe and shock ever last
I sit and contemplate gingerly
Tears of gratitude
fill my eyes
How lucky I am to be alive
The gift of life seldom realized
until you almost die.
I ponder on how fragile health can be
and all that my body does for me
An amazing machine in constant motion
despite any given thought or notion
I send love to every cell of my being
to know it has my back is truly freeing,
I’ve been so aggressive in my journey of healing
Not listening to how parts of myself were feeling
Thinking I had to hurry up and succeed
Remorse for pushing so hard to exceed
It took my artery to tear and bleed
to teach me to slow down and breathe
I open my heart and let joy pump through me
my blood, and arteries,
I release and set free my aggression
Allowing a newfound respect for my body
Thankful to Creator for this lesson
Life is a precious gift, each moment a tiny present
I sit quietly in gratitude and cherish every second

tears of grattue