I have battled depression, anxiety and asthma most of my life, but it wasn’t until after my mom’s passing I could not fight anymore. In 2005, I was hospitalized for a mental breakdown and severe asthma exacerbation. Shortly after my doctor suggested for me to be placed on disability.
A few years before my mom’s death, I was a “super woman.” Or at least I thought so. I was working, going back to school in my late 30’s, raising my daughter, trying to resolve my failing relationship, and taking care of my mother through her battle with lung cancer. The shattering truth….there is no such thing as “superwoman.”
The upside of a shattered life is you have the opportunity to put it back together the way you want. The downside is you can’t begin to mend your life until you face what you’ve been running from.
The loss of my mother was only the beginning. After the initial grief and trauma of her death; I began to remember and learn things about myself and my life that I wouldn’t have if she were still here protecting me. Abuse (physical, mental and sexual), alcoholism and drugs, are just a few traumas that I had buried.
My road to mental illness recovery has had many diagnoses and/or labels; grief, agoraphobia, depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADD, PTSD, etc., I am out of the darkest part of the tunnel and set my sights to
the other end of the tunnel holding enlightenment, wisdom, love and victory over my fears.
It matters not how long my journey is; as long as I continue to learn and heal.
I presently live with my boyfriend, my teenage daughter whom also has disabilities, and my three very loving cats.
My dreams are to live healthy, mentally, spiritually and physically. To be a good mother and role model. To maintain everlasting loving relationships with the people in my life.
My goals are to be off disability and find my niche in the career field. I love to write, to create and to serve. I hope one day I will be able to give back, to my community and to the Universe.
Everyday I struggle with my illnesses, but the more I learn to love myself and my life, the easier it gets.
This blog is a place to share, ponder and randomly rant. Welcome 🙂
My beautiful daughter and I