Fighting Birthday Depression

sad photo: Sad Face sadface.jpg

So, today is my birthday. I am 46 years old. I have been in midlife denial for awhile but; I can’t deny anymore that there is a good possibility that I have more years behind me than ahead of me.

My birthday has always been a trigger for my depression.
First of all, it usually rains, although today there is snow on the ground.
Second of all, growing up I never had a birthday party. I mean I had cake and ice cream with my family; but never a birthday party with friends and the whole shebang.
I also got I.O.U.’s instead of gifts most of the time. My mom explained every year that with tax season and Greek Easter that she just didn’t have the money.

I miss my mom so much.

So yeah, I automatically get a little bummed on my birthday.

I beat myself up for getting depressed and tell myself not to be so selfish.

This morning I am trying to shrug it all off.
It’s not too easy. My daughter didn’t remember to say Happy Birthday because she is caught up in teen boyfriend drama.
My boyfriend did remember; but it’s looking like my birthday gift is a belated Christmas gift.
I have to spend the morning at the DMV renewing my license, then I have a few hours before I have to be taxi to my boyfriend and daughter.
Then I will spend the evening 4pm-7-pm at the Seacoast Mental Health Center for my daughter’s appointment and DBT group.

Well, there is my birthday bitch session.

On the bright side, the sun IS shining, I AM alive.

I HAVE  people who LOVE me.

I WILL survive.

Like my mama used to say, “It can always be worse.”

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Fighting Birthday Depression

    • Thanks, yeah I’m not one for aging gracefully, Lol. I hope we both feel better before 50!!!
      Thanks for the birthday wish and stopping by my blog! 🙂

  1. my half century was Groovi! spent it with a complete stranger i invited to a private winetasting party (FIRST thing i ever won in my life, btw!). if i could figure how to post that pic, we could pretend that you were the one that took the picture that day! 😉
    it was the ONLY birthday party i EVER had as well, and i threw it myself (i was SO SURPRISED too!). saved it til June cuz my birthday is 25 November (could never get one taker to any birthday BBQ i tried to have…)
    Sometimes, Gyrlz, we hafta retreat to our Fantasy Room and bar the door for awhile…..
    the only reason im still standing here is cuz my sense o’ humour (Dark as it has been known to get) really cracks me up (most times)
    jus’ sayin’…..
    you can throw popcorn at the shadow-heads in the front row, with me, or…. leave the theater and go home without seeing how the movie ends…..
    (see what i mean about ‘twisted’ humour? this is my ‘way’ of trying to cheer you Gyrlz up!) ❤ "When in Doubt- point and laugh- cuz it makes THEM crazy all day!" ❤
    ~Almost*Alice~

    • Thanks for sharing that, I agree, sometimes a girl has to take matters in her own hands. I checked out your blog, some tough times. I have been through some of the same. I’m glad you’re blogging and I look forward to reading more:)

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