Update, I’m okay:)


My computer has been in the shop over a month now. I talked to the repair man today & he informed me that the screen the company sent him is defective! He has to return it & wait for another one & he doubts that it’ll be before Christmas. He rambled,
“This rarely happens,  unlucky I guess.” I laughed at the word & thought to myself,  if you only knew!
I’ve been very frustrated without my computer. Sadly, a huge chunk of my life is in there! Most of all, not being able to blog has been weighing on my spirit.
Therefore, I’m attempting to post from my phone.
It’s slightly challenging; but, I will feel so much better after its done.
My (it’s complicated) boyfriend had his court date on Nov19. He’s in therapy and AA. He’s been sober for over two months & I’m very happy for him that he’s getting the help he clearly needs.
While our relationship is not completely clear, I have made the definite boundary that we will not live together. I have to protect my daughter. I have to protect myself. Not just physically, but emotionally.
We’ve seen each other a few times. My emotions & anxieties are all over the place. I can’t figure out how I feel. I’m still healing.
I’m okay!
Something beautiful happened while not having an active live in relationship, I found me. This little voice, a tiny flicker of a forgotten flame. Instead of sitting next to my man on the couch, watching TV and hating it…I’m finding out what I’d like to do. Reading, writing, crafting. Spending quality time with my daughter. I’m exercising and eating what I want to eat. Dinner doesn’t have to be a compromise. At bedtime I don’t have to worry about the TV,  or snoring, I read and then play my meditation videos.
These sound like tiny accomplishments,  but they are freeing my spirit. My tiny flicker is burning a bright steady flame. I like it. I like finding me:)
I’m struggling trying to find a place to live. Im growing up and its painful and beautiful and I feel it all.
And Im okay! I’m so happy to be posting. Blogging(&writing) is a part of me, and I’m tired of keeping pieces of me locked up.


9 thoughts on “Update, I’m okay:)

  1. Not to degrade or naysay on your, as you say complicated, relationship; but when it is right, and loving and positive, your spirit will soar even while sitting on the couch, watching a tv show you don’t necessarily want to watch because it is what he wants to watch. My wife is my rock and without her to keep me grounded sometimes, I would be lost in the ether of my mind for days. Probably without clean underwear too. 🙂 Happy writing and I look forward to your posts.

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