Post Surgery Reflections

I had the surgery that I mentioned in my update. It’s only been three days and I am just starting to feel well enough to be frustrated that I’m not well enough. Wishing I was healing quicker; but, knowing I can’t rush it. It’s only after years of therapy that I have learned you can’t expedite the healing process, you have to move through the pain steady and deliberately. I wanted to write a post to share my feelings during this recovery process….this is what came tumbling out of my mind:
Post Surgery [Psychological] Reflections
Presently I am recovering from surgery. I am…again
vulnerable, flat on my back, incapable.
That’s how I feel psychologically.
Big Triggers when I am sick,
due to growing up with asthma
alienated, different, outcast.
My wise self, my higher self
knows something bigger is
always going on
I have made a transition
into elder phase
wise woman phase,
my body has anyways.
My Survivor self
is triggered hard
and hard on me it is!
“Get it together”,
“What the fuck is the matter with you”
Inadequate, Weak, Loser!
She speaks cruelly thinking
that way still works.
I break down
I am breakdown chick.
The chick that has to pause
to process,
I cry…I cry a lot
I feel the pain,
I ruminate….
My developing self emerges
a culmination of old selves
that have become balanced;
the wise and the young,
the healthy, the ‘tuned-in’ gypsy hippie soul,
Authenticity.
I sip my ginger root tea
I’ve smoked my herb,
I have prepared for this.
A time of healing, for going within.
Move through the pain
to get to the other side.
 Move slowly,
Listen to my body.
Acceptance.
Be still and listen for the lesson.
 
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7 thoughts on “Post Surgery Reflections

  1. You have such a gift for sharing and making connections! This is beautiful. I also grew up with asthma and allergies and it WAS a very alienating experience. I appreciate you including that piece!

    • You touch my heart with your kind words. Thanks so much my asthma sister, lol.😁 Hope you have a wonderful day and weekend! ❤

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