Twelve years today,
your spirit whirled away,
far out of reach.
It took all of these years
to move from the constant grief,
to face the fears
of a life without you.
To see through the darkness
that you held the light to.
In my heart the nostalgia sustains.
It’s the memories I keep
that gives me the courage to face each day.
It’s been a treacherous journey just to get this far,
I wear proudly on my soul, the scar.
Today I feel that grief again,
like a dam trying to hold the flood
I tense up.
Afraid to feel,
my logic scrambles, how do we cope?
Throw yourself in homework,
Channel the grief for the better.
For better my spirit screamed, now that’s just mean!
What do we do with grief?
We feel it,, we let the sorrow in, we honor the loss, we sit with that pain
because reality is, my life will never be the same.
Her smile, laughter, and wisdom
are not in the flesh,
yes, she’s with me, but it’s not the same.
It’s not fair, my sadness weeps,
my daughter doesn’t have a grandmother
and it’s fucking sad, my grief bellows.
I let the flood take over me,
run through me, and fill me.
In the arms of my daughter
I set the tears free.
I am so blessed to have her,
we are like you and me!
It is true, I have lost part of myself forever,
and it is also true we are all together.
It’s okay to feel sad
my sorrow whispers.
It won’t consume
like it once had.
A cardinal appears
and I know you are near.
This cardinal appeared a few hrs ago, right after I finished a good cry.
RIP my angel ❤