Have you ever felt like you’re caught between the worlds, where time and reality are a blur, and all you can do is feel your way blindly through the maze?
September is the anniversary of my mental breakdown.
My mom died in June 2005, and for three months, I was in shock. I worked, went to school, raised my daughter, the busier the better, until BAAAAM!!! Breakdown.
The song, Wake Me Up When September Ends (by Greenday) was released that year. It is about the singer’s (Billy Joe Armstrong) father dying due to cancer. The day of his dad’s funeral, he locked himself into the bathroom. When his mother knocked on the door, he simply stated, “Wake me up when September ends.”
I felt the same…just wake me when it ends. After my breakdown, I spent many days in a lawn chair outside, wrapped up in blankets, staring out to nature. I remember this song resonating with me as the tears finally flowed.
Today I begin my EMDR. I can’t think of a better way to honor this anniversary then to take the next step in my healing process.
Have you ever noticed that some people are so self absorbed that they can’t see beyond their own needs and wants to genuinely care about another person’s feelings? They may courteously pretend to be interested; but, they really could care less about your emotions, unless they are personally affected.
Then, there are others that put everyone else’s feelings before their own. They lack self worth and do not know how to put themselves first, even if it’s absolutely necessary.Their own lives become unhappy and incomplete because they are only living for others.
Where is the happy-medium?
Have you ever felt like you needed to scream & cry & yell…but at the same time, wanted to laugh and rejoice?
Because, you actually get the cosmic joke, and no matter how much pain you feel in the moment, you know deep in your soul, that all is as it should be& you are going to come out of that moment a wiser & stronger person!