Meeting White Pine

female pine pic (2)

I sat before you and closed my eyes
introducing myself in my mind.
Inhaling your essence
Exhaling love in exhange.
One continuous flow our breath became.
I felt the chill of the soil around my feet
where your roots lay range.
Feeling the nutrients rise
up from Mother,
I felt your feminine power
and started to cry.
Missing my mom who had died.
A daughter’s tears
of failure and grief.
My heart met yours
and green and gold colors
swirled through and around us.
You held me, and filled me with love
My sadness relieved.
Our hearts beating,
our synchronized breathing,
I continued to follow the flow,
upward and out.
Arms reaching,
Branches in the sun.
Our spirits connected,
There was no doubt
We for a moment were one.
I opened my eyes
and my mind.
Lost track of time
Was a pleasure to meet you
My dear friend White Pine

Winter Haiku

Winter by Galder

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Pic credit)  Winter by Galder

 

Oh, January!

So long, cold, bitter and dark

Leaving me alone

 

The New Year hope fades.

Resolute, Transformation

Hibernate and Cry

 

Forced to look within

Release what no longer serves

Reborn in the Spring

 

Old Man Winter’s Love

Brutal, Strong and Fatherly

Lessons learned, Growth gained.

 

 

Rainy Day Healing

rainydayRaindrops on the window

Wild winds blow the tree tops

Candles are lit

Incense perfumes the air

Sitting still, I close my eyes

White light fills me

Third eye goes blind 
rainyday2

Ego distracts

Spirit pulls me back

Be calm

Listen to the silence

The echoes of the wind

speed up with urgency

Tree branches sway to the turbulence

Dancing with the storm.

Gray skies embrace me with neutrality.  All that was is set free.  All that will be,

is  here and now.  Open my arms to receive the love.  Closing my eyes again

my third eye beams indigo, letting ego go…

Deeply rooted with the trees, I learn their dance.  Cleansed by the rains and wind.

I allow the healing in….

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What Do We Do With Grief?

 

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Twelve years today,

your spirit whirled away,

far out of reach. 

It took all of these years

to move from the constant grief,

to face the fears

of a life without you.

To see through the darkness 

that you held the light to.

In my heart the nostalgia sustains.

It’s the memories I keep 

that gives me the courage to face each day.

It’s been a treacherous journey just to get this far,

I wear proudly on my soul, the scar.

Today I feel that grief again,

like a dam trying to hold the flood

I tense up.

Afraid to feel,

my logic scrambles, how do we cope?

Throw yourself in homework,

paint, create!

Channel the grief for the better.

For better my spirit screamed, now that’s just mean!

What do we do with grief?

We feel it,, we let the sorrow in, we honor the loss, we sit with that pain

because reality is, my life will never be the same.

Her smile, laughter, and wisdom

are not in the flesh,

yes, she’s with me, but it’s not the same.

It’s not fair, my sadness weeps,

my daughter doesn’t have a grandmother

and it’s fucking sad, my grief bellows.

I let the flood take over me,

run through me, and fill me.

In the arms of my daughter

I set the tears free.

I am so blessed to have her, 

we are like you and me!

It is true, I have lost part of myself forever,

and it is also true we are all together.

It’s okay to feel sad

my sorrow whispers.

It won’t consume

like it once had.

A cardinal appears

and I know you are near.

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This cardinal appeared a few hrs ago, right after I finished a good cry.

19429936_10212322039393646_8990911526266190717_n RIP my angel ❤

Sitting on your Birthday

MOM.jpg

This morning

I mourn,

sitting with

the memory of

my mom.

The day of her birth

onto this Earth,

playing the tune

of the Cardinal’s song.

Angels dance and celebrate.

I sit with bittersweet fate.

Sending my love

up and out,

beyond the stars.

I sit and weep with

my wounds and scars.

Growth and change,

the season of Fall.

Drenched in pain,

feeling small.

I miss you

sweet mama,

my other half.

Your smile.

Your laugh.

Living in my memories,

you will be

always,

Alive in my

heart and soul,

Today and all days.1376529_10201816702366786_995448202_n.jpg

Sister’s Words

words_by_naylachan-d2swzxw

Sister’s words

are like swords

Slashing and tearing

me from 

my  “therapy throne.”

Deliberately belittling, 

so she didn’t have to

feel alone.

Sister’s words

are like punches

from sibling beatings

that would never end.

Bruised and broken.

Abandoned we were.

She attached herself to me

and I could not keep her safe.

Long and torturous our relationship has been.

Allies and adversaries through the horrors we have seen.

We are enemies and we are friends.

Sisterly love and sibling rivalry.

I must set myself free.

The past has passed,

leave it there.

No matter my actions,

you believe I don’t care.

Sister’s words 

hurt me no more.

The game is over.

Nobody scored.

My love you will always have.

My soul is mine to keep.

Sister’s words

I release…

and gently weep.

 

by Maria Fairbrother (pic credit Words by Nayla Smith)

 

Blood Moon

wolf blood moon

Blood Moon

Beneath

The Earth’s Shadow

Enveloped

In 

Pain and Sorrow.

Blood Moon

Drenched and Stained

In

Death

To Be 

Reborn Tomorrow.

Blood Moon

Allow Me

To Set Free

The Demons

That Have Been 

Cast Upon Me.

Burn Away

The Memories

Please

Blood Moon.

Aries On Fire

Energy Raises Higher

Crawling Out Of The Mire

Blood Moon

I Lie With You Tonight

Let You Take My Life

Awakening Tomorrow

With My Flame Bright

Goodnight.

Blood Moon