Some days I am ecstatic with enlightenment and joy,
I can flow easily and I feel blessed and loved.
Some days, I feel broken and useless, and unworthy.
I feel incapable and poor, and hopeless.
I feel I will never get up that mountain top and see the view.
I will always be at the foothill scrubbing the mess others left.
I am full of anxiety and grief and depression.
I use my tools like grounding and centering and acknowledging the many different aspects of myself. I validate them and hold space for them. I recognize my triggers and breathe.
Some days these tools work and some days I still cry through my housework, shake through simple tasks and my heart hurts as I panic about everything.
These days turn into a feat to survive without being swept away.
These days turn into sleepless nights.
Some days I can flow, some days I can barely bear to breathe.
Today is one of those days.